The Smartest Guy In The Room

It was a stupid wish. I realize that now. But in the heat of the moment, it made perfect sense!
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I rubbed the lamp, and, just like the legends say, and sure enough: a genie puffs out. Only this must be a Dollar General Genie, because he only grants me ONE wish, instead of three. And he’s pushy about it, too. I didn’t have time to think! I mean… how often do you get a bonafide WISH, people?

SO, under the gun, I had to improvise. I figured the best thing I could do was improve my mind. That’s what my old man used to say to me: “a sharp mind can take you anywhere.” As the genie smoke billowed around me, I thought it would be nice to ALWAYS be the smartest guy in the room. And so, i wished for just that.

Unfortunately, the genie granted my wish. I AM the smartest guy in the room, but my intelligence varies according to who else is in the room with me. Which is fine when you are having dinner with a bunch of rocket scientists, but not so great when you are having a beer with your MAGA neighbor.

Or when you’re in a room alone.

So, now, unless there’s someone else in the room, I just sit around in my own drool. I have to sleep outside (where there are NO ROOMS, get it?) else I am nearly a vegetable.

Stupid genies.